


There Is A Child Loose In The Military

by Cornerverse



Series: EHSA AU [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Tags to be added, a lot of talk about general things teens figure out so it includes some talk on sex stuff, roy and riza are in denial about being parents now, the rest of the team is the cast of weird uncles, they're a family damn it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22650298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cornerverse/pseuds/Cornerverse
Summary: Edward Elric is a State Alchemist. Highly skilled, intelligent, and powerful.However, he is also a thirteen year old boy. And has to deal with some of the same stuff other thirteen year old boys do. Though sometimes in wildly different contexts.(While this is technically part of a series it can be read alone)
Series: EHSA AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1273967
Comments: 66
Kudos: 270





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes the title is a reference to that one tumblr post. 
> 
> Look at me posting another fic when I haven't even finished my others? But one of the future chapters in this came to me in a dream so rip me.

“Maybe I’d listen more often if you weren’t such a jack _ass_!”

Ed instinctively covered his mouth after the sound left it. He hoped that Mustang wouldn’t notice it, but the look he was getting told him he couldn’t be that lucky. Even Hawkeye raised an eyebrow at him.

Damn it, he really wished Al were here to cause a distraction, but no. The kid was talking with the rest of the team in the main office.

“Are you okay there, Fullmetal?” Mustang asked.

“Fine!” Ed answered. “Completely fine!”

He began to say something else, but was cut off by the sound of Hawkeye clearing her throat. Both looked to her, and Ed was hit with the fact that he was just really unlucky right now.

“Sir,” Hawkeye began. “I think this is something you shouldn’t poke fun at. After all, I’m sure you remember being thirteen.”

While Mustang went through that realization, Ed avoided eye contact. His face was turning redder and redder by the second. Although as awkward as he was feeling, he could see plenty of awkwardness in Mustang’s face too.

“Right,” Mustang began. “Do you… Are you aware of… how much do you know about-?”

“Please tell me you’re not attempting to give me ‘The Talk’,” Ed groaned, sinking somehow lower.

“Well someone has to,” he muttered.

“What he means,” Hawkeye interrupted before Ed could retort, “is that it would be best if someone explains these sort of things to you and-”

“No!” Ed groaned. “I’m going to stop both of you right there! I do not need any variation of ‘The Talk’! For fuck’s sake! I know plenty about how the body functions! And despite what you might think, I do have the common sense to look up anything I don’t already know about! And yes, I do know ‘where babies come from’. Started an entire riot in my second grade classroom over that!”.

“A riot?” Mustang parroted. “How do you start a riot over that?”

“Easy,” he said. “Some kid in class mentions ‘the stork’, and you try to correct them, but all your classmates hear is ‘you’re saying mommy and daddy lied to us! They’d never do that!’.”

“That’d do it,” Hawkeye agreed. “However, while you do know the basics, if you do need to ask questions-“

“Then I have enough sense to go to a library,” he cut her off.

“Sometimes questions are better answered in person,” Mustang said.

“Ugh,” he groaned. “If I promise to come to you guys if I get real fucking desperate for answers, will you drop the subject?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's less 'puberty' and more 'Al can swear and the adults are upset'.

“Remind me what the hell you were thinking?”

Ed had a perfect response to that and was about to tell Al exactly what the hell he was thinking. His response was cut off by a crash. Looking over to the rest of the people in the office, he saw quite a lot of chaos. Several things had been dropped, including Fuery’s coffee which was quickly staining the carpet.

And all eyes were on them, giving shocked expressions. Several expressions turned scared as Hawkeye turned to them with a glare.

“Which one of you taught him how to swear?!” Hawkeye demanded.

“Not me!” Havoc defended, hiding slightly behind Mustang.

“This is the military,” Breda muttered. “Kinda known for swearing. Could’ve been anyone.”

“My bet?” Mustang said, taking a sip of his own coffee. “I’d ask the person who likes to kick down my door and shout ‘what’s up fuckers!’ before asking us.”

“Don’t teach him more words,” Fuery whispered, fully hiding from Hawkeye’s glare behind a desk.

Ed gave Al a look, trying to put together what they were going on about. Eventually they got it and just started snickering. Then laughing like idiots.

“Guys,” Al said. “I know how to swear.”

“Have you guys-“ Ed laughed. “Have you never heard him swear? I mean, I know he tones it down a little around authority figures but- HA! I can’t! How have you managed to not swear around them?”

“No idea,” he replied.

“Either way it’s beautiful!” he cackled.

“What do you mean you ‘know how to swear’?” Havoc asked. “You’re a child.”

“I’m twelve?” Al defended. “How old were you guys when you learned swear words?”

“May I remind you guys,” Ed began, “That I knew just as many swear words when I was twelve? Which okay wasn’t that long ago but my point is made. Honestly I’m disappointed I haven’t learned any new ones from hanging with the military.”

“I have heard a few interesting combinations,” he said. “Not from any of you guys though. I was starting to wonder why none of you swore.”

“I do appreciate the effort to ‘maintain his innocence’ or whatever,” he said, snickering again.

“Seriously though guys,” he said. “What the fuck?”

And the scandalized expressions on their faces sent the brothers into another fit of laughter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBH I always forget Falman exists until after I've written things so RIP. (Not literally but... sorry buddy!)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I low-key mentioned this happening in TPWC but here we go!

“What are you doing over here?”

Ed jumped, quickly shoving the book back on the shelf as Al walked down the aisle.

“Nothing!” Ed said. “Just research!”

“Right,” Al replied. “Except this isn’t the science section. That’s where you left me twenty minutes ago for what you claimed was a bathroom break.”

“It’s… a different kind of research?” he offered.

“What could you possibly be researching in the romance section?” he asked. “Granted you need help in that department, but-.”

“Fuck you I’m plenty romantic,” he said.

Despite the fact that Al was currently an expressionless suit of armor, Ed could easily imagine his expressions and fill in the blanks. The imaginary expression was curious, trying to figure out this particular puzzle. Probably skeptically raising an eyebrow and pouting a little.

And Ed could tell exactly when Al had come to a conclusion, because his posture shifted and straightened completely.

“Right,” Al said. “Romance section. I’m just- I’m just gonna go and pretend I didn’t think about that.”

“Ugh, that’s not-“ Ed groaned. “Just-I didn’t want to talk about this but at this point I’d rather explain-“

“I get it,” he said, baking up a step. “I might not be going through that yet, but I get the general idea of teenagers and hormones and all that. But I really don’t want to think about it so I’m going to pretend I don’t know for a little longer!”

“That’s not… entirely what’s going on,” he groaned. “Just give me five minutes and then we can go ahead forget this ever happened, okay?”

Al seemed like he really wanted to not do that, but he sighed and resigned to it. For a moment, Ed’s mind sidetracked into wondering how Al could sigh without being able to breathe, but that opened up the whole ‘how does he hear/see/speak/etc.’ debate, so he shut that right back down.

“Okay, so, how do I put this?” Ed began. “The other night I had a dream. And it was one of, you know, those kind of dreams. And yes, I know that’s normal and all and neither of us want to think about it-“

“You’re right on that part,” Al replied. “Still not seeing why I need an explanation here.”

“Well, uh,” he swallowed. “You know how those kind of dreams would usually involve an imaginary partner for that? In this particular dream the partner was- was another guy.”

“Oh,” he said. “So you’re…”

“I don’t know!” he groaned. “Maybe it was a one-off thing! All I know is that as much as I tried to ignore it, the idea’s stuck in my head and you know I don’t like to have unanswered questions. So I figured the best way to figure it out was the same way I’d research anything else. Look up books on the subject.”

“That… makes sense,” he admitted. “I’m still going to ignore that the research is happening, but you know it’s okay if you are gay or bisexual or whatever, right?”

“Yeah, I-I know,” he said.

On one hand, Ed did know that. Not just because they had both been fine with other people being gay before, but also because Al somehow didn’t hate him for any of the other more legitimate reasons. If he didn't hate him for that, he wouldn't hate him for this.

On the other hand, it was still a relief to hear him say it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look me in the eye and tell me y'all didn't see this coming.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's like 5 seconds of the idea of Ed having a crush on someone older than him but that gets shut down pretty fast. Just warning y'all in case that's squick-y but yeah.

Ed practically ran out of Mustang’s office. He’d intended to drag Al away, but he was in the middle of some conversation. Instead he just said something about waiting outside and bolted.

It was only once he was half way down the hall outside that he slowed down and took a breath. At least he tried. That breath quickly turned into a strangled gasp as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“You okay there kid?”

Trying to shake off the adrenaline burst, Ed looked back and realized it was just Havoc. Good.

“I’m fine,” Ed answered, pulling away. “You guys don’t have to babysit me when I’m just walking around.”

“Sure,” Havoc answered. “But last time I saw someone book it that fast, I was your age and my best friend got rejected when he asked his crush to the school dance. That kinda speed means something up.”

“I’m fine,” he insisted. “No one’s asking anyone to a dance or whatever! Even if I did have a dance to go to, it’s not like I’d ask anyone here! I’m just surrounded by a bunch of grown-ass men! No interest there whatsoever!”

Ed did not like the suspicious look he was getting. Especially the hint of pity tossed in. Fuck. Did he say something weird?

“Look, kid,” Havoc began, sighing a little. “I get it. Hell, my class had voted on which teacher had the best butt. And you’re surrounded by adults all the time so it makes sense you might get a crush. But if they ever try to return that-“

“Ugh, no- that’s not-“ Ed shook his head. “There’s no ‘crush’! And yes, I know that it’d be creepy as hell if an adult was into me. That is not at all what’s going on!”

Thankfully, Havoc backed off. Whether or not he believed it was another question. Ed probably should’ve left it at that. But…

The wording stuck in his head a little. And despite a lot of things screaming at him to not say anything else, he took a chance.

“Was the, uh,” Ed swallowed. “Was the possible age gap the only issue you had with that statement or…?”

“Ah,” Havoc mused, seeming to catch on. “How about we go talk outside.”

While Ed would’ve preferred a quick answer, he followed Havoc through the building and outside. It took a minute to find somewhere to sit that was near enough for when Al came looking for them, but far enough to not be overheard.

Havoc took a carton of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one. He nearly offered one on impulse before remembering he probably shouldn’t give cigarettes to a thirteen year old. Ed would’ve declined anyway.

“So,” Havoc began. “Never thought I’d say this after I hit twenty, but tell me about your crush.”

“There’s no crush,” Ed groaned. “Why are you stuck on that?”

“Because,” he shrugged. “You got all defensive over a crush after I caught you bolting from Mustang’s office. Doesn’t take a State Alchemist to connect the dots.”

“Gross,” he gagged. “If you ever suggest the thing I think you just suggested again-“

“I know I’m discouraging it but you don’t have to hide it,” he said.

“I’m not hiding anything!” he said. “Thinking of Mustang in that way is just-ugh. Gross. It’s like asking me if I want to make out with Al! That’s a gross mental image and I’m going to try and forget it. But I’m making a point!”

“Fine then,” he said. “So what happened in the office that made you run like a bat out of hell?”

“Just… thinking about things,” he admitted. “I kinda zoned out while he was talking and started thinking about things I’ve been thinking about in general. And next thing I know he’s actually acting worried about me because I checked out for too long. So I panicked because I didn’t want to tell him what I was thinking about.”

“Ah,” he said. “Been there too. Both in general and in thinking about men.”

“I, uh, you’re…” he trailed off.

“I might talk about women a lot,” he admitted. “But there’s been a few guys in there too. So, are you still in that ‘figuring it out’ stage, or have you already gotten past that?”

Ed frowned, thinking about it. He’d been waffling a little on that verdict. If only because everything was hypothetical. Maybe this was just him slipping into the mindset of an alchemist, but theories need to be tested.

“I think I’m still figuring it out,” Ed admitted. “I haven’t really had a chance to, you know, try anything with a guy. Then again, I haven’t tried anything with a girl either. And I think I’m just as interested in that.”

“You’ll figure it out,” Havoc shrugged. “And if you need advice-“

“Yeah yeah,” he huffed. “Why is everyone so adamant on offering advice?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y'all thought anyone in this fic is straight then ding dong you are wrong. 
> 
> Also Havoc's comment about 'the class voting on which teacher has the best butt' is 100% true to my school experience.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight trigger warning for self harm. No actual self harm is done, but it is discussed and thought about.

Ed had walked into the office, expecting to snark at Mustang. Yet, the man wasn’t there. It was just Hawkeye sitting at his desk.

“Where’s Mustang?” Ed asked.

“Out sick,” Hawkeye answered, looking up from the desk she was commandeering.

“Really?” he asked.

“He can get a cold, you know?” she laughed.

“I know,” he said. “I just figured he was the ‘I’m going to stubbornly come into work anyway’ type.”

“He tries to be,” she said. “But I assure him it’s better if he doesn’t get the rest of us sick. I hope you didn’t need him specifically?”

“Oh, no,” he said, waving a file. “I just had to drop off the paperwork on that thing from the other day.”

Ed handed over the file, being much nicer with Hawkeye and actually handing it instead of chucking it like he did with Mustang. However, when he did, she grabbed his arm, and on instinct he dropped the file on the desk.

He tried to read her expression. She was frowning, but not mad. Sad maybe? Then he noticed that her focus was on his arm, and the very obvious cuts on it. He wrenched his arm away and backed up.

The way she stood up and walked around the desk was slow and careful, the same way you’d approach a skittish animal. Which was honestly what Ed felt like in the moment. If she had tried to move quicker, he might’ve ran out the door. Again.

“I-I know it sounds like a lie,” Ed swallowed. “But that’s- that’s not what it looks like.”

“Edward,” Hawkeye said softly, kneeling down to his level. “It's okay. You can talk to me.”

“I’m not lying!” he insisted. “You can ask Al! You know how he keeps stopping to pet stray cats. One of them didn’t like me.”

It was hard to tell if she was mulling over the story, or just waiting for him to break. Still, after a few moments, she sighed and relented. Then she gave him a determined look.

“Okay,” Hawkeye said. “But if you ever feel like actually harming yourself, come talk to one of us.”

“O-of course,” Ed nodded.

* * *

Several hours later, Ed lay awake in bed, staring at the marks on his arm and feeling a pit of guilt. While the story about the cat hadn’t been a lie, promising to come to them was.

He’d thought about that sort of thing before. More than just once. Though it was only on the really bad days.

As difficult as it was to keep himself from hitting that point, the only thing that really stopped him was that look. Imagining that expression Hawkeye gave him on anyone else who found out. And they would find out. Today just proved how easy that would happen.

The idea that people cared that much was confusing. On one hand, it was comforting to know. On the other hand, it made him feel guilty. Which triggered the anxiety and depressive spiral. Which then got him to the mental state that started this whole bullshit.

Despite the fact that he was tired, Ed got back up. The feeling was easier to manage if he wasn’t alone. Or at least he wouldn’t do anything with Al in the room. He’d just say he couldn’t sleep and decided to read something. Eventually he’d pass out on the couch. It wouldn’t be the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone come hug this goddamn child.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter literally came to me in a dream so have fun with that knowledge!

“This assignment is a bit different than your usual ones,” Mustang warned.

“How different?” Ed asked, flipping over to sit upside down on the office couch.

“Undercover work,” he replied.

Only raising an eyebrow at that, Ed waited for elaboration. It was true that undercover wasn’t his usual work. Most of the time it was ‘show up and throw down’. So he wondered why.

“You were requested special for this,” Mustang elaborated. “Because we need someone to go undercover as a middle school student. Usually we’d find someone short and baby-faced enough to pretend, but since you are actually thirteen…”

“Makes sense,” Ed nodded, pointedly ignoring the ‘short’ comment. “Seems simple.”

“There is a catch,” he warned.

“Of course,” he sighed. “Of course there’s a catch. Just tell me.”

“Right,” he said. “The school in question is an all-girls school. With uniforms. Uniforms that have skirts.”

“How is that a catch?” He wondered, tilting his head.

“To fit in, you will have to pretend to be a girl,” he explained. “And wear the uniform.”

“I… don’t get it?” He said. “It’s part of the job, right? Or are you doing it just to fuck with me and make this more complicated?”

While Mustang did raise an eyebrow at that, he didn’t elaborate on it. Which left Ed feeling confused.

Was he supposed to be upset? Why? And if he was, then why wasn’t he?

* * *

“I get the point of the safe house,” Ed shouted as he got dressed. “But remind me why we have to share a house with you two?”

“Same reason for the safe house,” Mustang replied. “If someone gets suspicious and follows you home, they’ll expect you to have some sort of family to go home to.”

“Oh, so you’re pretending to be my dad?” He replied, sticking his head out of the door. “Get prepared for a lot of Teen Rebellion and half-joking "you can’t tell me what to do! You’re not my real dad!” conversations. Not that I’d listen to that jackass anyway but whatever.“

"So why’s Fuery here?” Al asked. “Are you being a second dad?”

“I’m here because Hawkeye doesn’t trust those two not to kill each other,” Fuery said. “My cover story is 'uncle who just got kicked out by his girlfriend and is staying here to get back on his feet’.”

“Let me guess,” Ed said, giving Mustang a smug look. “You couldn’t convince Hawkeye to pretend to be your wife?”

“She has her own mission!” Mustang huffed. “She’s going undercover as one of your teachers. If people see a connection between you two, they might get suspicious. Speaking of, when you see her, pretend you don’t know her.”

Noticing the question was thoroughly dodged, Ed rolled his eyes. He lingered in the doorway another few seconds, just taking in the scene.

He’d never seen Mustang and Fuery out of uniform before. It was weird. Mustang was still well-dressed, with a nice shirt and pants. Fuery was far more casual, having grabbed a hoodie and shorts combo. They actually looked normal. Which was, in itself, weird.

Deciding that he’d spent enough time focusing on that, Ed closed the door again and finished getting dressed. He was just trying on the uniform to make sure the ‘disguise’ was good.

The uniform itself wasn’t that bad. A bit typical, but not bad. White dress shirt, black blazer with the school crest on it, the skirt and tie were both blue with green stripes. The shoes were also black.

Ed was pretty sure he understood the ‘catch’ now. The outfit didn’t really hide his Automail. The arm was mostly hidden by the blazer, but the skirt left the leg on full display. Technically he was allowed to wear tights, leggings, or over-the-knee socks with the uniform, but that was a bad idea. All of those would get caught and torn on the Automail too easily. It was a waste of money and effort.

“How do I look?” Ed asked, stepping out of the living room area.

Well, he definitely got some stares. Though Al seemed to be the only one who was actually thinking about the mission. Mustang looked more confused, while Fuery seemed to be mulling something over.

“Any feedback at all?” Ed wondered, trying not to look into those expressions too much.

“I think you should add some makeup,” Al said. “I can still tell you’re you.”

“I’m not supposed to look like another person,” he huffed. “Just like a girl.”

“Makeup might not be a bad idea though,” Mustang said. “Most girls I remember from middle school wore makeup.”

“Yeah, the ones you remember,” Fuery muttered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he demanded.

“That the girls who wore a lot of makeup were memorable, but not the only ones,” he shrugged. “When it comes to middle school girls and makeup, there’s three kinds. Ones who didn’t wear makeup for whatever reason. The ones you remember, allowed to go wild and paint their faces with bright colors that didn’t go together. Then there’s the ones who wanted to do that, and their parents said no, but through a lot of begging their parents relented and said ‘okay you can choose one thing’.”

“I like the third option,” Ed said. “I mean, if we’re doing the makeup thing, I’d rather keep it something I can reapply it myself. If something happens and I mess it up at school, it’d be weird if I didn’t go fix it, right?”

While Mustang seemed to agree, Fuery gave him a look. Like he knew something. Ed wanted to ask what, but he didn’t want to do it here.

It was decided that Fuery would go out and buy said makeup. Once he made Ed and Mustang promise not to fight while he was gone. And made Al promise to smack some sense into them if they did.

In the meantime, Ed tried to get used to the skirt. He hadn’t really worn one before. There were a few times when he was little, and he, Al, and Winry played dressup, but that was less ‘wearing a skirt’ and more ‘tossing one of Winry’s dresses on over whatever he was already wearing’. Which obviously wasn’t the same.

Thankfully he had enough common sense to not lounge around like usual. That would put on too much of a ‘show’. He’d have to remember that the whole time. It would probably be easier when sitting at a desk.

Mostly, Ed was just playing with how the skirt moved. When he made sharp turns or spun, the skirt would follow and whip around. It reminded him of how his coat usually worked. It was familiar. Comfortable. Fun. He kept doing it, experimenting with how far he could get it to go before it became ‘inappropriate’.

Al had gotten bored and started looking through the books they brought. However, Ed noticed that Mustang was still watching him, with that same confused expression. It was starting to make him uncomfortable. Not ‘creepy’ uncomfortable, but that ‘am I doing something wrong?’ uncomfortable.

Eventually Fuery came back and dragged Ed into the bathroom. He claimed that there was better lighting and also he didn’t want Al or Mustang hovering.

“Okay,” Fuery said, digging through a shopping bag. “I went with eyeliner and a tinted chapstick. I thought about lipstick or lipgloss, but I figured that those would be a little ‘heavy’ since you’re not used to it.”

“Probably,” Ed agreed.

“I’ll do this the first time, so you can get an idea of how it should look,” he said, brandishing the eyeliner. “Try to hold still. I haven’t done this in years, and it’s been longer since I did it on someone else!”

Ed did his best to stay still, though when someone was holding your face and putting a pencil near your eye, it was instinct to flinch. It took a minute, but then Fuery switched to the chapstick. He was probably right about it being lighter than lipstick or lipgloss, but it did have a little bit of a feeling to it.

“There,” Fuery said, capping the chapstick. “You can take a look and see how you like it. Just remember to use makeup remover on the eyeliner before you go to bed because if you don’t you will wake up looking like a raccoon.”

“I do that anyway,” Ed said.

“And, uh, you know,” he began, “If you want to talk about anything, you can come to me, alright?”

“Talk about what?” he wondered.

“Ah, well, nothing,” he shook his head. “You’ll figure it out.”

With that cryptic statement, he left, leaving Ed alone with his reflection.

And honestly, seeing himself in the full disguise was… nice. The uniform wasn’t really his usual style. Maybe a red skirt instead. Oh! Or he could wear his red coat with a black skirt! That would look cool.

Ed froze, rethinking that thought over again. That was…. Different. It was one thing to say ‘wearing the uniform is part of the job’, but actually planning a different outfit with a skirt was… weird.

Was that the catch? The fact that he was a boy and boys shouldn’t want to wear skirts?

Right?

Now he was overthinking it. Analyzing it. He liked this. He definitely liked this. Which was confusing. Because the one explanation he could think of didn’t entirely make sense.

Ed was aware of the concept of transgender people. He hadn’t met anyone who was, or at least not anyone who told him about it. But he got the general idea of ‘born one gender, but you’re the other one’, and ‘being seen as the wrong gender makes you uncomfortable’.

And he… wasn’t sure that’s what he was feeling. Ed was comfortable as a boy. He liked being a boy. But seeing himself in the skirt and makeup… he liked looking like a girl. And he had a feeling that if the disguise worked and people thought of him as a girl, he’d like that too.

It wasn’t one way or the other. Something in the middle maybe? Either way, it was confusing.

Swallowing down all of that, he decided to not think about it. A few days of being in disguise, and he’d never have to face this again. It might haunt him when he starts overthinking things, but it wouldn’t be head-on like it was now.

He could handle that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This oblivious child. 
> 
> "I don't know any transgender people!" he says after all of that stuff Fuery said.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is technically a followup to the last chapter. 
> 
> Like, it happens at the end of the undercover mission. And the 'Featured OC' is one of the students he ran into during said mission. 
> 
> I go into that a little more in-depth over here: https://princess-of-the-corner.tumblr.com/post/611676025679724544/lol-i-want-to-elaborate-on-that-ed

Ed was very tired. At least he didn’t have to be undercover anymore, though he was still wearing most of the uniform. The blazer had disappeared at some point. No big loss though.

Realizing that he’d be up and working for a few more hours, Ed decided on coffee. He poured a cup and added far too much sugar in. It satisfied the sweet tooth and helped add an extra kick to wake him up.

As he turned to go back to the main office, he almost ran into someone. Thankfully he stopped before pouring hot coffee on her.

“Oh, hey Amber,” Ed said.

“Hey,” Amber replied. “I just wanted to thank you again. For, you know. Not leaving me tied up in a supply closet.”

“If anyone does, punch them,” he replied. “And I mean that. Learn how to escape those situations just so you can find whoever left you like that and kick their ass.”

“Yeah, well,” she sighed. “I didn’t expect it after how I acted.”

“I’m not going to leave you to die over petty school drama,” he said.

“Right,” she said. “That… feels like it puts my life in perspective.”

“Yeah, that happens,” he shrugged. “Don’t suppose that means you’re going to use this as a opportunity to be nicer to your classmates?”

Amber laughed at that. A genuine giggle instead of the haughty cackle he’d heard from her the past two weeks. As she tucked a brunette curl behind her ear, he noticed that she was actually kinda pretty when she wasn’t glaring at him. And her taking a step closer didn’t help that revelation.

“Tell you what,” Amber said. “I’ll seriously consider that, but on one condition.”

“What condition?” Ed wondered.

“That you let me properly thank you for saving me,” she said.

Before he could ask what exactly she meant, she reached up and grabbed his tie. Then she yanked him forward and her lips were on his.

It was… different. Nice. A little awkward, because Ed had no idea what he was doing. But he closed his eyes and followed her lead.

A few seconds later, she pulled away. Ed tried to come back to his senses but no. He was still gone. He vaguely heard her laugh again and say something about leaving, and suddenly Ed was left staring at where she’d just been.

Sometime later he’d collected his thoughts enough to see Breda waving his hand in front of his face, his expression somewhere between concerned and amused. Mostly amused.

“Hey, right what were we talking about?” Ed shook his head, trying to focus.

“Let me guess,” Breda said. “First kiss?”

Ed ignored the fact that his face felt like it was burning, and insisted on going back to the actual work for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby's first kiss! While also still low-key having a gender crisis because of the uniform.
> 
> I'm gonna say it right now: most of Ed's romances start out as some kind of Rivalmance.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey! A chapter not from Ed's pov!
> 
> And also tossing Hughes in for fun.

Roy wasn’t entirely sure when he’d gotten roped into babysitting. Technically it started the day that Edward was officially titled ‘the Fullmetal Alchemist’. But he meant this specific situation.

Then again, that was easy to explain too.

He’d been finishing paperwork when Alphonse had come in, somewhat nervously asking for help. Ed had gotten sick, and while it was probably just a cold, Al didn’t have the ability to feel how feverish he was, and anxiety was growing.

Now, Roy was sitting in a chair near the bed while Al went out to buy a few things. Cold meds for his brother, along with food, both to hopefully get Ed to eat, and to thank Roy for helping.

Until he got back, Roy was staying and keeping an eye on Ed, listening to raspy breaths as the boy slept. And he tried not to focus on how… small the boy looked. While he was always ready to poke fun at the kid’s height issues, this wasn’t what he was trying not to notice.

As much as Ed tried to act like a mature adult, and absolutely put on the ‘super tough guy’ act, he was thirteen. And even before joining the military, he’d been through far more than most adults. And he’d probably go through a lot more too.

He tried not to think about it, but Roy's own role in that made him feel guilty, even knowing it was the boys’ only chance at getting back to normal. Sometimes, in moments like this, he wondered what would’ve happened if he’d showed up in that small town just a little earlier.

Roy was brought out of that train of thought by the sound of the door opening in the other room. Old habits had a spike of adrenaline going through him, but he knew it was probably just Al coming back with dinner.

“Time to wake up,” Roy said, leaning over to poke Ed’s face.

Ed mostly only groaned in response. 

“Come on, shortstack,” Roy said, poking again. “I know you don’t feel good, but you need to eat something.”

“I’m fine, dad,” Ed muttered in a raspy voice. “Just tired.”

The boy rolled over and burrowed further into the covers, entirely unaware of how his absentminded words had just sent someone into an existential crisis.

* * *

“So, what exactly did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know what you mean, Maes,” Roy replied, taking a drink. “We normally go out for a drink every once in a while.”

“Right,” Maes answered, looking at him over the rim of his own drink. “Except this is a week earlier than planned, you have that ‘I need to talk to someone’ look on your face, and you’re calling me by first name again instead of your grumpy and professional last name only thing. But if you’re sure you don’t have anything to talk about, then I’m sure you won’t mind me ducking out early. I do have a wonderful wife and an adorable baby to take care of!”

Knowing full well that Roy wasn’t going to leave, he used the situation to pull out what seemed to be a million photos. How the man had enough cash to waste on this much camera film was a mystery.

“Fine,” Roy sighed, taking a long drink. “Do you remember that kid that started working with my team?”

“Which one?” Maes asked. “The one who can do magic tricks? Or the supposedly six foot tall twelve year old?”

“I think you’ve known me too long to call Alchemy 'Magic tricks’,” he grumbled.

“You might be right,” he replied. “I have spent enough time around you to pick up on the basics of Alchemy.”

Right. Of course. Despite his goofy nature, Maes was too damn smart for his own good. Of course he’d notice something was odd about the boys.

That, however, was not a conversation for now. Not only because that is a hell of a story, or because he would prefer to have as little people hear it as possible. But mostly because he had other things on the mind at the moment.

“The 'magic tricks’ one,” Roy said. “He accidentally called me 'dad’ the other day.”

Oh no. Roy knew that expression. He mentally prepared for whatever stupid thing was about to happen.

“Congratulations!” Maes grinned. “I wish you told me you were planning on adopting some kids, but I can still buy you a celebratory drink to welcome you into parenthood!.”

“Fuck off,” Roy sighed. “I’m not adopting any kids!”

“Sure,” he said. “And you told me this fact just for fun, and not because you’re looking for advice from another dad!”

“That’s not what I’m doing!” He retorted. “And even if it was, you only have experience with newborns, not teenagers!”

“As if I didn’t read ahead in those parenting books,” he said. “Seriously, though. The one’s thirteen and the other’s going to hit it soon. When you sit them down to give them 'the talk’ you’ll need to remember what all to cover!”

“Unfortunately I already tried that,” he said. “All I got was a grumpy "fuck you I already know where babies come from”.“

"Really?” He laughed. “You already gave 'the talk’, but you’re trying to say you’re not a parent? Yeah, you might want to tell Madame Christmas about her new grandkids before she hears the rumors and kills you for not telling her.”

Roy opened his mouth to retort, yet he couldn’t find an argument. Instead, he chose do down the rest of his drink.

“Exactly,” Maes laughed. “Speaking of rumors, I heard a particularly interesting one about you recently.”

“More interesting than this?” Roy muttered.

“Well, not considering your 'reputation’,” he said. “It has something to do with wanting to make some changes to the women’s uniforms…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Referring to Hughes by first name makes sense when writing from Roy's pov, but god what the fuck kind of name is 'Maes'? At least it gives us some corny puns but....


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an old headcanon I posted to Tumblr forever ago, but I had to.

“Fullmetal what the fuck did you do?!”

“Absolutely nothing! Bye! See you in two weeks!”

Ed tried to make a run for the door but found it blocked. While he was debating on if he could get away with jumping through the window, Mustang grabbed the back of his coat. And of course the rest of the team had to gather around and watch the (hopefully metaphorical) explosions.

“Don’t even think about it,” Mustang said. “We’re going to discuss the interesting rumors I heard on my trip to Central over the weekend.”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about!” Ed exclaimed. “Legit though, I haven’t been in Central for over a month and I didn’t do anything stupid while I was there!”

“Right,” he said. “And you have nothing to do with rumors about certain changes to the uniform I’d like to make?”

Ed blinked for a moment, and then burst out laughing. Which was not helping his case.

“Oh wow,” Al chuckled. “I didn’t think that would be going around still!”

“You knew about this?” Mustang demanded, turning the look on him.

“Well, not exactly,” he said, backing up a little.

“Boys!” Hawkeye interrupted. “Perhaps you should all calm down and explain?”

While Mustang didn’t stop giving them a look, he did release his hold on the back of Ed’s coat. Ed relaxed a little, knowing this was about something silly and not anything big.

“First off, this isn’t my fault,” Ed defended. “But like a month and a half ago I stopped by Central and some higher up started asking me questions.”

“What kind of questions?” Mustang asked, his expression quickly switching from annoyed to concerned.

“A lot of things,” he answered. “Mostly about you and what I thought you’d do if you were Fuhrer.”

“Right,” he nodded. “And you came up with…. that?”

“Well I didn’t know the answer!” He shrugged. “And I thought I could make something up that’d get written off as me being a dumb, hormonal thirteen year old who didn’t know the answer! It’s not my fault people apparently think it’s believable that you’re gunning for the top so you can change the women’s military uniform to have miniskirts!”

That got several choked, wheezing laughs from their audience. Hawkeye was massaging an oncoming headache, but even she was a little amused.

“And you couldn’t come up with anything better?” Mustang sighed.

“I was put on the spot!” Ed defended. “What did you expect? Give me some time and I could make up something better! I’m sure I can spread plenty of rumors if that got believed!”

“Try not to purposely create rumors,” Al sighed.

“You know,” Havoc said, putting an arm around Mustang’s shoulders. “I think it’s quite a noble cause! Surely many men, and a few women, would follow you in your crusade!”

“Of course,” Fuerey added. “I think it’d be a little distracting, but so, so worth it in the end.”

“I’m totally invested,” Breda said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “The number one goal on your list should absolutely be an army of women in miniskirts.”

“It is quite an idea, isn’t it,” Mustang smirked a little.

“Guys?” Ed said. “You do know that if you said that with any level of sincerity, Hawkeye would shoot you, right?”

“I’m still thinking about it,” Hawkeye said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry. No one gets shot.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mama Hawkeye time! And also guns.

This was wrong. So very very wrong.

Teaching a thirteen year old how to use a gun should not be part of Riza’s job. But it was. Because it was standard for all members of the military, even State Alchemists, to know how to use a gun.

They got looks the first time she brought Ed to the shooting the range. It was an unspoken agreement between them all. This was so wrong.

However, she noticed how bad Ed’s mental state had been that trip. Not just from the actual wrongness, but seeing how everyone looked at him. Probably a good thing he didn’t bring Al. It was the only time Riza saw the brothers apart from each other. Though she didn’t ask, she wondered if Ed told Al something else about where he was. She wouldn’t blame him.

The other thing Riza had noticed that first trip, was how Ed reacted to loud noises. The gunshots made him jump. At first she’d assumed it was because of the gunshots themselves. But she noticed it was more about how loud it was. Not a ptsd response, but more like the noise was overwhelming.

After that, she decided to take him when no one else would be there. No people, and the only loud noises would be from the gun he was practicing with. He would know when the sound came.

Riza refocused her thoughts on the target being shot at. She’d absolutely switched out the silhouette targets for the bullseye. A small comfort.

Like with most things, Ed was a fast learner. He hit the center of the target pretty much every time. Only one shot strayed a little to the right.

His problem was how long it took between shots. Shooting the gun made him freeze, and he’d take a few moments to calm down. Then he’d have to set up his aim again. Any gun handling test would want him to shoot consecutively.

Another thing he wasn’t good at yet was counting his shots. He hadn’t realized the gun was empty until he went to shoot and only got a click.

“I think that’s enough for the day,” Riza said.

Nodding, Ed handed her the gun. As much as he tried to hide it, it was easy to see his hands were shaking.

“Are you okay?” Riza asked.

“Yeah,” Ed nodded. “I just- I don’t like guns. But it’s fine. It’s part of the job. I’ll just pass the exam part and then never use it again.”

“I don’t like the idea of you being out there without a weapon,” she said.

“It’s not like I’m defenseless,” he pouted. “I know how to fight and I have Alchemy.”

“And if you end up needing a weapon?” She asked.

Instead of answering, he clapped his hands together and put them on the wall beside him. One transmutation later, and the wall had become a small knife that he twirled around.

He noticed the way she stared and quickly transmuted the knife back into the wall, realizing that destroying it was a bad idea.

That wasn’t why she was staring though. The Alchemy itself unnerved her. While Riza was not an Alchemist herself, she did know a fair bit of the subject, given her upbringing.

By all means, transmutation without some sort of circle shouldn’t be possible. And yet, that’s exactly what he does. She knew that Roy had tried to pester him about how he did that, but had only gotten Ed to say a little about some place he seemed to have “gone to” when he attempted to bring his mom back.

Roy and Riza knew better than to push. Both because the kid was, quite obviously, severely traumatized by the experience. But also because they knew well that some techniques were better to be kept hidden.

“I, uh, made my point,” Ed said, avoiding her eyes. “If I can’t defend myself with all of that, what would a gun help?”

“If you get in a tough situation, it might…” she began.

“Make things easier?” He guessed. “If I have to kill someone?”

And there was the elephant in the room. They both knew it was a possibility. While Roy had done his best so far at keeping the more dangerous assignments away from Ed, it wouldn’t last. There would be jobs where lethal force was authorized, due to the danger posed by whoever he was sent after.

As much as he tried to avoid it, there was always a chance that a situation could call for it to save his own life. Even without a gun, it might happen.

“I don’t want to kill anyone,” Ed said, almost as if he knew what she’d been thinking. “But if I ever have to, I’m not making it easy. I don’t want it to be easy.”

That she understood. She was the opposite. Wanting it to be easier, because she knew she couldn’t stomach it otherwise. Riza knew that despite her previous body count, she’d hesitate if forced to use a knife. She’d still do it, as she has nothing to lose. But she’d hesitate.

“Alright,” Riza said. “I understand.”

“Thanks for, you know,” Ed said. “Not giving me a speech about being a naive kid.”

“You’re not naive,” she said. “If you were, you’d be telling me that you’re sure you’ll never need to kill. Not that you’re going to do everything you can to avoid it.”

While he nodded, Riza noticed the last of his energy take a dip.

“You know,” Riza said. “Just a few blocks away is a pretty good candy shop. The kind of place where you can customize a bag of sweets and pay by weight. It even has some foreign candies.”

“What?” Ed asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

“You’ve spent the afternoon at a gun range,” she said. “And having a very serious conversation about the possibilities of killing a man. I think we both deserve a break, and to go wild in a candy store for a little while.”

He absolutely knew that she was trying to make him feel better. Still, he took her up on the offer.

The candy shop was a mistake for two reasons.

Firstly, Edward Elric on a sugar rush is a little terrifying. She didn’t know he could talk that fast.

Secondly, the man at the shop counter assumed that she was the boy’s mother. Which was a crisis in itself when she realized how much she wanted to say she was.

Well fuck.

* * *

“Did you ever want kids?”

Riza tried, and failed, to not laugh when Roy choked on his coffee. After a moment of recomposing himself, he had an answer.

“I thought about it years ago,” Roy admitted. “Never felt ready for it, back then. But I figured at some point in the future I would have found someone to settle down with.”

There was the unspoken agreement there. They would never ‘settle down’. The mission they had wouldn’t allow it. They wouldn’t let themselves truly entertain the idea outside of these forbidden 'what if?' scenarios.

“What brought this up?” Roy asked.

“I took Edward to a candy shop after the gun range,” she said. “The man working there assumed I was his mother.”

“He needs to get his eyes checked,” he muttered. “You don’t look alike at all.”

She noted that he didn’t need to ask why that would be assumed anyway. She also noted that he didn’t ask how she felt about it.

“Ed called me dad once,” Roy admitted.

“Really?” Riza laughed. “I don’t suppose this has anything to do with you taking your trip to Central early?”

“Don’t go to Maes for advice,” he warned. “He will make fun of you.”

“Did he give any actual advice?” She wondered.

“Yes,” he said. “He told me to tell Madame Christmas about her grandkids before she kills me for not telling her.”

Now it was Riza’s turn to choke on coffee.

“Speaking of Madame Christmas,” Roy said. “There is something I asked her about.”

“What?” she wondered.

“Remember what I said about how you and Ed look nothing alike?” he asked. “Have you ever seen anyone that looks like him?”

For a moment, she had no clue what he was talking about. Then it clicked. She’d gotten so used to seeing Ed the past few months, that it completely slipped her mind.

While blondes were quite common in Amestris, dark skinned blondes weren’t quite as common. It would normally be attributed to mixed race, perhaps Ishvalan since they were out east. Yet even that didn’t make sense, as the Ishvalan shades were different from the more sun-kissed hue that Ed had.

Then there were the eyes. Golden eyes. Definitely not Ishvalan. Or like anything else Riza had ever heard of.

She had also seen the family pictures in the Elrics' home. How Alphonse had the same colors. As did the boys' biological dad. The man was definitely from somewhere else, but the 'where' was a question they didn't have the answer too. 

“Has Madame Christmas met someone like that?” Riza wondered.

“Once,” Roy said. “Only reason she remembered him was that he reminded her of herself, in a way. Someone playing a part and avoiding suspicion, but knows far too much. She never met him after that. Though with how long ago it was, he might be dead.”

“Perhaps,” she mused.

“The odd thing is,” he continued. “Is that there are very few reports of people with golden eyes. All are an adult male, with tanned skin and blonde hair. There’s more variety in people who have violet eyes than those with gold. Even more reports too.”

“Those boys are quite a mystery,” she said. “Think we’ll ever find out what’s going on?”

“If we do,” he sighed. “It’s going to be a goddamn headache.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I mentioned I give my boys darker skin because 'Xerxes was in the desert damn it!'? Because I do. And if y'all think Roy and Riza weren't going to notice that shit ever.....


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I toss in more characters? Absolutely!
> 
> Can I adjust how a character looks a little to make things more paralleled? Why the hell not? Seriously though, somehow every time I draw Lust she ends up looking like Ed but female so I've decided to take the bike and run.

Now, while Ed usually was one to start swinging at the first hint of danger, he did have some sense.

What had supposed to be a quick trip to the bank had him and Al as hostages in a robbery. Which was not how he’d wanted to spend his afternoon. If it wasn’t for the robber’s gun, and the main hostage of a woman who had been behind them in line, Ed would’ve handled the situation. But for now, he watched and waited.

Part of that was focusing on the robber to look for an opening. Yet it was the hostage who caught his eye.

Despite the robber’s grip on her arm and the gun poking into her side, she wasn’t scared. There was no fear in her violet eyes. Just annoyance. As if the robbery and life threatening was an inconvenience at best.

Then she looked at him, and gave a small smile. Ed could tell that she had a plan of sorts. And he prepared some Alchemical tricks for when it went off.

The whole thing happened in just a few seconds. The woman stomped hard on her captor’s foot, which had to hurt as she was wearing heels. It gave her enough leverage to wrench her arm free and then elbow him in the stomach for good measure.

Then she stepped back, which was Ed’s cue to transmute a few walls around the would-be robber. The man was now trapped in a box and unable to shoot anyone. He could yell all he wanted, but he wouldn’t be going anywhere until he was arrested.

While Ed had been doing that, Al had already gone over to check on the woman who had been a hostage.

“Are you alright, miss?” Al asked.

“A little shaken,” the woman answered, though she seemed perfectly fine.

“You didn’t seem too scared,” Ed said.

While Al gave him a look, as much as armor could give him a look, Ed ignored it. The woman just smiled and laughed a bit. Not nervous laughing either, but like this was funny.

“I saw you playing with that pocket watch of yours,” the woman said. “It’s hard to be scared knowing a State Alchemist is involved!”

That made some sense, at least. It was still stupid to put that much faith in him being able to do something. Well, not really, since he did save the day. But all she had to go on was hope that she was right about the pocket watch. Kinda stupid to assume she wouldn't be killed. 

After that, it was a waiting game. They had to wait for more proper authorities to come pick up the would-be robber and take everyone’s statements. The boys mostly stuck to making small talk with the woman, who gave the name ‘Solaris’, and were only occasionally interrupted by people who worked up the nerve to say ‘thanks for saving us!’.

It seemed like it took forever to get done with that. And even longer for the bank employees to get the place running again and let everyone go back to making their deposits and withdrawals.

By the time Ed and Al left, they’d lost track of Solaris. Either she was still doing her own banking business, or she’d decided to go home and try again tomorrow, when there wasn’t a robbery.

Yet… something about her was stuck in Ed’s mind.

“Did Solaris seem familiar to you?” Ed asked. “Like you’ve seen her around before?”

“A little,” Al admitted. “Maybe we keep passing each other and never talked until today?”

“Maybe,” he said. “Or she’s following us around.”

“How long has it been since you’ve slept?” he wondered.

“What kind of question is that?” he asked, completely dodging the question.

“You’re getting paranoid about some woman following us,” he deadpanned. “We’re not even on some kind of assignment right now, so why would anyone be following us?”

Well, he had to give him that. Maybe it was just lack of sleep. Really, while Ed had gone to bed last night, he’s not sure when was the last time he’d gotten a good night’s rest.

“I still think she looks familiar,” Ed muttered.

“You know,” Al mused. “I don’t think she’s been following us. I think she just looks a little like you and you’re picking up on that.”

“Okay, I might be paranoid, but you’re crazy,” he said. “How does she ‘look a little like me’? We don’t even have the same hair color!”

“It’s not the hair,” he said. “It’s more her actual face? Like the eyeshape and the nose a little? Kinda reminds me of when you were wearing the makeup for that undercover thing.”

“That’s…. not impossible,” he admitted.

There was an unspoken conversation between them. Wondering if it was more than just coincidence. But neither wanted to contemplate that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then they completely forget about 'Solaris' until they meet her again as 'Lust'. And then they find out about the rest of the plot and go 'oh that's why...'. 
> 
> In all honesty, I've been thinking about one of my other AUs where there's a lot of interaction between the boys and "Solaris" so I wanted to write a little bit into this.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More 'Roy being a dad' featuring Ed not being confrontational for once!

When Roy entered his office, he had expected to see Ed lounging on the couch. After all, Al was out in the main office talking with Fuery about something. And Riza had said Ed was waiting in here.

Yet the room appeared empty. With a sigh, he closed the door. Ed was probably hiding somewhere waiting to jump out and scare him.

It was, on the surface, an innocent and childish prank. But someone should probably explain that that kind prank was not a good idea with members of the military. A lot of them had PTSD from various battles. Jumping out and scaring them was a good way to get hurt.

He debated about calling the boy out on it, but, well. Ed didn’t get much of a chance to do innocent and childish things anymore. Since Roy already knew the scare was coming, he wouldn’t react as strongly. He'd let the kid have his fun. Then he’d explain it.

As Roy walked into the room, he expected Ed to jump out from behind the couch. Or grab his ankle from under the coffee table. Yet there was nothing. Actually looking now, he didn’t find the boy in either place.

Since it was nearly impossible for him to be hiding on the ceiling, though he did look out of pure ‘the kid does strange things sometimes’ paranoia, that left the desk. He walked closer, and when no one jumped out at him, he began to get concerned.

Leaning over the desk, he finally found him. Though Ed wasn’t waiting to jump out at anyone. No, the boy was curled up on the floor. He wasn’t quite hyperventilating, but he didn’t seem entirely ‘okay’.

“What are you doing?” Roy asked.

The boy jumped, having not realized anyone was in there. He quickly tried to put himself together in a way Roy knew a little too well.

“Didn’t mean to scare you,” Ed mumbled. “It was just too loud in the other room.”

“Loud?” Roy asked.

“Yeah, I mean,” he swallowed. “Al was talking to Fuery about a thing. And Havoc and Hawkeye were discussing a report. And Breda was on the phone with someone. And the door was open so everyone that walked by in the hall made noise to and it was… loud.”

Roy wasn’t sure how to react to that, exactly. It hadn’t seemed loud. Perhaps it was louder earlier? No it didn’t usually get loud here unless there was either panic, or Ed was the one yelling. The former he would’ve heard about, and the latter shouldn’t have made him upset.

Wait, what did he say?

“What wasn’t the right word?” Roy asked.

“Oh, uh, ‘loud’,” Ed said. “It it’s not the volume. Just- I don’t know how to describe it. Too much noise? That doesn’t make any sense. Like how milk tastes wrong but I don’t know how to describe it other than gross. There's too much noise, but it wasn't 'loud'.”

“Does that happen often?” he wondered. “The sound thing, I mean. You’ve gone on a tirade about milk before.”

“Sort of?” he answered. “It’s been happening more often lately. I think it’s just because of the city, you know? Back home there weren’t as many people in small rooms having a bunch of conversations. Sometimes it would happen though. It was easier to handle when I was little, because I could just walk into another room. I couldn’t do that in school because teachers yell at you if you try and walk out.”

Huh. That was interesting. While the ‘too much noise’ thing was a little familiar to him, it mostly only happened on bad days. Days where depression or PTSD hit Roy a little too hard and there were enough thoughts in his head without the conversations from everyone else.

But the comment about it happening sometimes when Ed was very little, before he even went to school… It couldn’t have been trauma-related because the kid hadn’t even had any trauma yet.

Perhaps it was some kind of sensory issue? Ed did mention milk ‘tastes wrong’, so that ticked off two of the five senses. And now that he was thinking about it, sometimes he had noticed Ed unconsciously running his left hand over the fabric of certain chairs. Three out of five.

“I know it’s weird but-“ Ed started to say.

“It’s not weird,” Roy said.

That got the kid staring at him. Considering how Ed both tried to explain it but didn’t defend himself against the ‘weridness’, someone had probably told him it was strange or not normal.

“Everyone has their quirks,” Roy said. “Other people probably do things that seem ‘weird’ to you.”

Ed nodded at that. Then deflected, changed the subject. Seems like Roy wasn’t going to get more out of him right now. Maybe a little old-fashioned library research could come up with something that explained all that. Perhaps some (healthy) coping mechanisms to help out when there was ‘too much noise’.

Damn it. That whole ‘Congratulations on becoming a dad’ thing was really getting to him, wasn’t it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kid: I'm weird  
> New parental figure: You're not weird  
> Kid: :o

**Author's Note:**

> As mentioned in the tags, there will be some discussion of sex stuff, but it's in the context of either 'you're a teenager and what you're feeling is normal' or stuff about sexuality stuff so you know. 
> 
> There might be some triggering content later down the line but I'll put a warning in the author's note.


End file.
